getting over a bad breakup | a little advice.

2/18/2018

Now I know, not all breakups are hard. I also know that not everyone wants to hear/read about break-ups right after Valentine's day, but the reality is, shit happens. I'm also aware that someone in a happy relationship may not be the best person to give advice on break-ups, but don't be mistaken. I have also had my fair share of crappy breakups.


So I spent some time, coming up with some ideas of how to get over a bad breakup. I can't promise these will all work for you, or that they will even help at all, but these have all helped me in one way or another when I was sad so I wanted to share them.

#1 Let yourself be sad.
Sometimes you just need a good cry, and honestly, it might even make you feel better. It's better to let it all out than it is to keep it locked away inside. Cry, eat chocolate, cry some more, spend al day under the duvet watching films and eating junk food, don't try to pretend you're okay. Sadness is a completely reasonable emotion after a breakup. It's also okay not to cry if you don't need to.


#2 Treat yo'self.
Nothing, I repeat, nothing makes me feel better when I'm sad than treating myself. Now, this one completely depends on what you like the most, or what you want. Sometimes I'll treat myself to chocolate, or new underwear (especially pretty bras), an iced coffee? What the hell, go mad, get yourself a pet to cure the loneliness. 
(please don't actually do this)


#3 Do something you want to do.
So your ex-boyfriend hated Disney films? Watch them all. Do all of the things that you enjoy, that you couldn't do before because your ex didn't want to. Your ex-girlfriend hated pizza? Order one and have it all to yourself. Focus mostly on all of the things you can do without them, rather than getting yourself down over all of the things you used to do together.


#4 Tell people but don't be an ass about it.
Remember that your ex is still a person, and even if they broke your heart, they deserve respect. Tell your family and friends about the break-up, but I would recommend using pretty basic reasons. like the usual 'we just weren't mean to be' or 'we just wanted different things', this will stop you from dragging your exes name through the mud, and also helps you to not constantly hear 'how're things you and x?' and have to explain to people six months on.


#5 Make plans.
It's not uncommon for you to start seeing your friends less when you're in a relationship. It's not intentional. I'm in the habit now of spending every weekend with my boyfriend, which means that if friends try to make plans with just me on the weekend, I say no. Now that you're single, make time to see those friends who you may have lost closeness with, don't spend too much time alone wallowing in sadness. Friends are also usually pretty great at making you feel better when you're sad.


#6 Spend time alone. You don't need a rebound.
When I say spend time alone, I don't mean isolating yourself from all of your friends and family, I just mean don't jump into a relationship just because you don't want to be alone. Use this time to become more independent again and to be comfortable with yourself, before getting into something new. Otherwise, you'll end up in a vicious cycle of failed relationships and sadness because you can't be alone. Enjoy being single for a while.



#7 Don't move on until you're ready. 
Now this one follows on pretty nicely from #6. It's not easy finding love, and we all know that it's even more difficult when you're not emotionally ready for it. Relationships that are rushed into often fail. When you do start a new relationship, make sure you're ready, and that you take your time getting to know that person before you decide to take the leap again.


#8 Don't try to be friends too soon.
It is complete bullshit that exes can't be friends, sometimes you'll find that you're actually much better off as friends than you ever were as a couple (as I found with my ex, we stayed friends for a while), but don't try to be friends with them too soon, if you're both pretty cut up about the end of the relationship the last thing you need is to be spending time together. Take some time apart before you decide to try and be friends, and when you do, remember why the relationship ended and make sure that flirting is off limits.


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*ALL GIFS USED IN THIS POST WERE TAKEN FROM GIPHY.COM*

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