things I wish I knew about emotional abuse.


It isn't obvious, you can't look at someone and know that they're being abused. Abuse isn't always bruised eyes, or a flinch when their partner comes near.

Its effects will stay with you forever, even subtly, on the good days you'll feel like you're over it and on the bad days, you may feel like it defines you. It doesn't.

It's losing your friends because your boyfriend isn't comfortable with you being around or even talking to the boy you've known your entire life.

It's being surrounded by a family you don't feel welcomed by, whilst becoming distant from your own.

It's feeling good about yourself for just a second and being made to feel bad about yourself for the rest of the day.

It's being made to give up something because your boyfriend doesn't like it.

It's talking about your passions to someone who would rather see you cry than smile.

It's feeling so bad about yourself that you genuinely believe that this is the best it's ever going to get, and that you deserve to be treated this way.

It's speaking but never truly being heard.

It's being ignored for days on end because you've done something wrong, but he won't tell you, he'll just make you suffer.

It's being laughed at every time you cry.

It's apologising because everything wrong is only ever your fault.

It's being accused of cheating when you never leave the house without him.

It's him having the audacity to cheat on you, at your party, whilst you're outside talking to your friends. He'll deny this for the rest of his life.

It's constant criticism, jokes about the way you look, the things you say, the choices you make, your weight, your hair, your clothing choices.

It's having to wear trousers, not skirts or shorts because he thinks you look too fat, and you look like you're asking for attention.

It's having him buy you size 22 clothes when you're a size 16.

It's constantly being in denial.

It's being called a slut, and a whore, just because you've put on some mascara.

It's having friends who love you and support you, who only ever see you hurting.

It's still believing that someone loves you, even when they only see your flaws.

It's a living hell.

*this post is based on my own personal experiences so does not apply to every person who has experienced emotional abuse*


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  1. Lauren, how there are no comments yet is beyond me.

    The way you've written this is beautiful
    It's raw, emotional but matter of fact.

    You have an incredible talent.
    Not only for your writing ability, friendship or warmth. But your ability to write something so personal, so beautifully.

    I adore you, you are an incredibly warm friend.
    But this made me love you a whole lot more.
    How you manage to have such a warm heart, after such abuse is beyond me.

    I am a mess atm, but I'm so proud of you.
    So proud you found the strength to write this.
    So proud to call you my friend.

    If you can't tell already. I'm in love with this post.