Winning the lottery seems like a pretty common thing for people to daydream about, considering that so few people I know actually participate. Yet we all still fantasise about how we'd spend our multi-millions. I've never bought a single lottery ticket in my life but I know exactly what I'd spend my winnings on. So I thought I'd share them with you today.

I'd first start looking for a home because finding something just right would take time. Something reasonable, not too big but not so small that I'd have to move out once I started a family. I'd want something with space to expand and a lot of land around it because I want loads of dogs. I'd also love a she-shed, or a home office so that I could put all of my free time, and effort into my blog.

here's some inspiration from my 'home office' Pinterest board

Next on my list would be to learn to drive, with a large amount of money I'd probably do as many lessons as I could in a short amount of time to get it done fast. Then I'd buy a car. Not my dream car because the insurance would be insane and even with millions of pounds, I wouldn't be stupid with money. I'd also buy D a new car, one he'd love and be excited about, or a bike if that's what he'd prefer.

I'd 100% go to an expensive salon and get my hair done. I avoid salon's and buy box dyes that my hairdresser applies for me at home because I don't ever feel like I can justify an expensive salon trip. I feel like, with money being such a non-issue when you're not constantly worrying about it. I'd definitely treat myself. 

I'd give my Dad the money to renovate his home and give my Mum enough to put down a large sum to buy a home for herself and to decorate it how she's like. I'd give some money to my eldest sister, for her to buy the small country pub she's always wanted and enough money to get it up and running, and I'd give my younger sister (as per her request), three electric guitars, three acoustic guitars and all of the latest tech for her to have a smart home, a grand piano, some AMPs for her guitars and a farm, for her to have all of the dogs's her heart desires.

Book a holiday. I'm not sure where I'd go, although I'd probably end up buying a campervan and travel around the UK and Northern Ireland first. Then, book a trip to America and do the same, travelling the entire country with my boyfriend would be an absolute dream. I would also 100% go and spend at least a few weeks with my bestie (who runs an amazing blog www.burtsbowl.com)

There are plenty more things I'd like to do if I won the lottery and plenty of things I'd like to buy myself, but to mention them here would take forever, here are a few honourable mentions though;

Apple Airpods, an iMac, an Apple Watch, a MacBook, an iPad Pro and the Apple Pencil (basically, just kit me out completely with Apple products)
An Xbox One S, a PlayStation 4 and all of the accessories and games for both.
All of the PC Games I want (which is mostly just all of the sims 4 expansion packs)
A professional camera, and camera equipment.
I'd join a gym and hire a personal trainer, and a dietitian.

 I'd love if you let me know in the comments what you would do if you won the Lottery.

It isn't obvious, you can't look at someone and know that they're being abused. Abuse isn't always bruised eyes, or a flinch when their partner comes near.

Its effects will stay with you forever, even subtly, on the good days you'll feel like you're over it and on the bad days, you may feel like it defines you. It doesn't.

It's losing your friends because your boyfriend isn't comfortable with you being around or even talking to the boy you've known your entire life.

It's being surrounded by a family you don't feel welcomed by, whilst becoming distant from your own.

It's feeling good about yourself for just a second and being made to feel bad about yourself for the rest of the day.

It's being made to give up something because your boyfriend doesn't like it.

It's talking about your passions to someone who would rather see you cry than smile.

It's feeling so bad about yourself that you genuinely believe that this is the best it's ever going to get, and that you deserve to be treated this way.

It's speaking but never truly being heard.

It's being ignored for days on end because you've done something wrong, but he won't tell you, he'll just make you suffer.

It's being laughed at every time you cry.

It's apologising because everything wrong is only ever your fault.

It's being accused of cheating when you never leave the house without him.

It's him having the audacity to cheat on you, at your party, whilst you're outside talking to your friends. He'll deny this for the rest of his life.

It's constant criticism, jokes about the way you look, the things you say, the choices you make, your weight, your hair, your clothing choices.

It's having to wear trousers, not skirts or shorts because he thinks you look too fat, and you look like you're asking for attention.

It's having him buy you size 22 clothes when you're a size 16.

It's constantly being in denial.

It's being called a slut, and a whore, just because you've put on some mascara.

It's having friends who love you and support you, who only ever see you hurting.

It's still believing that someone loves you, even when they only see your flaws.

It's a living hell.

*this post is based on my own personal experiences so does not apply to every person who has experienced emotional abuse*

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The last Month of my life has been pretty damn up and down.

 I went to several interviews, finally started a new job, hated it to start off with and seriously considered quitting (EDIT: I'm enjoying my job much more now, since I've settled in more, and I'm definitely not going to just up and quit). I ached all over every day I wasn't working because my job is so physically demanding that I honestly almost got stuck in the toilet earlier today. I started looking for work again and have suffered through various application forms and constant harassment from one company who don't understand the word no. Also, our heating stopped working, the dog had an allergic reaction, and I dropped out of University. (Sorry Nan if you're reading this!)

But things aren't all bad; I chopped off some of my hair, went more blonde, finally started earning money again, paid back some debts to family members, took some beautiful pictures in the snow and made a new friend [whose blog you should 100% check out here by the way]. I've also been using my free time to scroll through Bloglovin' and find some inspiration and spending some time with my younger sister watching films, singing along whilst she teaches herself to play the guitar and binge-watching Netflix together.

When things start to get stressful, I tend to step away from certain things. This time around it meant that my blog got put on the back burner, so here I am. Almost a month since I even wrote a post, to talk about the situation in my life right now, and to tell you all about my goals for Spring.

Make new friends, or re-connect with old ones.
I am the worst for not getting in touch with people. I have known my best friend for 19 out of my 22 years alive and I honestly think it's been almost a year since I saw him. Since becoming friends with Rachel (BurtsBowl), it has made me realise how much I needed good friends and generally good people around me, so I want to try and surround myself with only positive people from here on, and to find more of them!

Get out more.

At the minute I'm either at work or at home. I'd quite like to make the effort to meet up with friends more or even just walk down to the high street, or take the dog for a couple of laps around the park. Also, I've gained more weight that I ever wanted to so I'm going to need to be more active if I want to shift it.

Have a more active social media presence.
At the minute I am terrible with social media, I go onto Twitter, retweet something and close the app for days. I scroll through the explore page on Instagram and only post the occasional picture of either my dog or some flowers. I use my facebook page to literally just let my 6 followers know when I have a new blog post up and I am on and off with Pinterest so often that I honestly think we have a bit of a toxic relationship.

Start saving money.
I always tell myself that I need to start saving, whether it's for the future long-term, or even short-term saving to buy a new phone or an Xbox One. Whatever it is I'm saving up for, I need to do it soon otherwise I'm never going to get anywhere and I definitely won't be getting that Xbox One I've been after for months.

Stop buying so much junk food.
So much of my money gets spent on food. I am the worst and I genuinely think that I have an issue. I really want to try and quit this habit of constantly buying crappy food, and start buying myself things I actually want and need rather than chocolate that, let's face it,  I could definitely do without. I'd much rather treat myself to a new piece of makeup or some nice clothes, than a chocolate bar that lasts 5 minutes or less and just causes me to gain more weight.


Spend less time on my phone etc when with my boyfriend. 
My Boyfriend and I have fallen into the habit of spending the evenings together, watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S, or Rick and Morty, whilst both on our phones scrolling Instagram or Facebook, paying zero attention to each other.
If I want to / need to be on my laptop I've been trying to let him know so that he can watch a film he wants to see that I'm not into, or so that he can play the Xbox for a while. I'm getting much better at not picking my phone up constantly but there's still room for improvement. I try and get things done before he comes over at 5 so that I don't have anythdon'tI need to do whilst he's over in the evenings/weekends.

Find a job I'm happy in.
My new job is hard. I'm not desperately unhappy there, but I could be much happier elsewhere, and in a different role. I've known for a while now that caring isn't what I want to do. I also know now that 12-hour shifts are also not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. I'd like to try and find a job where I'm excited to go to work, and where I have good things to say when I come home, rather than coming home and crying on my Mum's or my Boyfriend's shoulder.

Finally, start a new hobby.
I've wanted to pick up a hobby since the start of the year but I haven't had the money to do so. Now that I'm back earning again I want to buy myself a cheap electronic keyboard and have a go at learning to play it. If I do well and I enjoy too I'll invest in a more expensive one, but for now, just a cheap one to start with will do me perfectly.

leaving you with a picture of my new 'do to end the post.

I seem to have a thing for lists. Currently, on my phone I have; an app that keeps track of all the new/newish movies I want to see (463), I have an app that tracks all the TV shows I want to see (this one doesn't tell me a number), an app that tracks the podcasts I want to listen to, and Xbox/pc games I want to play, and one that keeps track of all the TV shows I want to see/have seen.

I also have an app that I use to track all of the books I want to read (there are 351 fiction books) and I have a separate list on my tablet for non-fiction books. I have a list of beauty products I want to try, and a list of possible baby names.

I am addicted to list writing, and for today's post, we're going to make another. I thought it would be a cool idea to do an A-Z post of some of the books in my 'To Be Read' list (of course, not including all 351).

A- Almost Midnight - Rainbow Rowell

B- Beside Myself - Ann Morgan

C- Cradle and All - James Patterson

D- Dear Amy - Helen Callaghan

E- Everything I Never Told You - Celeste Ng

F- Frozen Charlotte - Alex Bell

G- Grief is the Thing with Feathers - Max Porter

H- How It Ends - Catherine Lo

I- I Am Not a Serial Killer - Dan Wells

J- Just a Girl Standing in Front of a Boy - Lucy-Anne Holmes

K- Killing Kate - Alex Lake

L- Luckiest Girl Alive - Jessica Knoll

M- Mothers and Other Strangers - Gina Sorell

N- Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro

O- One of us is Lying - Karen M. McManus

P- Pictures of Lily - Paige Toon

Q- (a) Quiet Kind of Thunder - Sara Barnard

R- Remember Me This Way - Sabine Durrant

S- See How They Lie - Sue Wallman

T- Tell The Wolves I'm Home - Carol Rifka Brunt

U- Under My Skin - James Dawson

V- (the) Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox - Maggie O'Farrell

W- We Could Be Beautiful - Swan Huntley

Y- You, Me and Other People - Fionnuala Kearney

Z- Zac & Mia - A.J. Betts

I tried to find a book for X that I would read and maybe just hadn't yet discovered. but couldn't.

Now I know, not all breakups are hard. I also know that not everyone wants to hear/read about break-ups right after Valentine's day, but the reality is, shit happens. I'm also aware that someone in a happy relationship may not be the best person to give advice on break-ups, but don't be mistaken. I have also had my fair share of crappy breakups.

So I spent some time, coming up with some ideas of how to get over a bad breakup. I can't promise these will all work for you, or that they will even help at all, but these have all helped me in one way or another when I was sad so I wanted to share them.

#1 Let yourself be sad.

Sometimes you just need a good cry, and honestly, it might even make you feel better. It's better to let it all out than it is to keep it locked away inside. Cry, eat chocolate, cry some more, spend al day under the duvet watching films and eating junk food, don't try to pretend you're okay. Sadness is a completely reasonable emotion after a breakup. It's also okay not to cry if you don't need to.

#2 Treat yo'self.

Nothing, I repeat, nothing makes me feel better when I'm sad than treating myself. Now, this one completely depends on what you like the most, or what you want. Sometimes I'll treat myself to chocolate, or new underwear (especially pretty bras), an iced coffee? What the hell, go mad, get yourself a pet to cure the loneliness. 

(please don't actually do this)

#3 Do something you want to do.

So your ex-boyfriend hated Disney films? Watch them all. Do all of the things that you enjoy, that you couldn't do before because your ex didn't want to. Your ex-girlfriend hated pizza? Order one and have it all to yourself. Focus mostly on all of the things you can do without them, rather than getting yourself down over all of the things you used to do together.

#4 Tell people but don't be an ass about it.

Remember that your ex is still a person, and even if they broke your heart, they deserve respect. Tell your family and friends about the break-up, but I would recommend using pretty basic reasons. like the usual 'we just weren't mean to be' or 'we just wanted different things', this will stop you from dragging your exes name through the mud, and also helps you to not constantly hear 'how're things you and x?' and have to explain to people six months on.

#5 Make plans.
It's not uncommon for you to start seeing your friends less when you're in a relationship. It's not intentional. I'm in the habit now of spending every weekend with my boyfriend, which means that if friends try to make plans with just me on the weekend, I say no. Now that you're single, make time to see those friends who you may have lost closeness with, don't spend too much time alone wallowing in sadness. Friends are also usually pretty great at making you feel better when you're sad.


#6 Spend time alone. You don't need a rebound.
When I say spend time alone, I don't mean isolating yourself from all of your friends and family, I just mean don't jump into a relationship just because you don't want to be alone. Use this time to become more independent again and to be comfortable with yourself, before getting into something new. Otherwise, you'll end up in a vicious cycle of failed relationships and sadness because you can't be alone. Enjoy being single for a while.

#7 Don't move on until you're ready. 
Now this one follows on pretty nicely from #6. It's not easy finding love, and we all know that it's even more difficult when you're not emotionally ready for it. Relationships that are rushed into often fail. When you do start a new relationship, make sure you're ready, and that you take your time getting to know that person before you decide to take the leap again.


#8 Don't try to be friends too soon.
It is complete bullshit that exes can't be friends, sometimes you'll find that you're actually much better off as friends than you ever were as a couple (as I found with my ex, we stayed friends for a while), but don't try to be friends with them too soon, if you're both pretty cut up about the end of the relationship the last thing you need is to be spending time together. Take some time apart before you decide to try and be friends, and when you do, remember why the relationship ended and make sure that flirting is off limits.

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My name is Lauren, and I have an unhealthy addiction to binge-watching.

Recently I've been seeing a few different bloggers talking about their favourite characters in TV shows (and a lot of them mention F.R.I.E.N.D.S). For my post, I wanted to do something a little different from the others, and also mention some of the characters that I didn't like all that much either.

Breaking Bad: so, it has taken me far too long to jump onto the breaking bad bandwagon, and a year and a half after starting the show, I'm still working my way through it watching an episode every now and then. Jesse Pinkman is definitely my favourite character on the show, and I find him so loveable, and my least favourite is quite possible Marie, Skyler's sister, I always feel like she's really sticking her nose into other peoples business and although it may sometimes benefit them, it always just seems to me like its not her place.

One Day at a Time: I have watched this season, twice in the past few months and I love it. It is so, so difficult to pick a favourite character but at a push, I would have to pick Lydia, she is so loving and caring, yet she isn't afraid to speak her mind and put someone in their place when it's necessary. Seeing as I love everyone in the show, I don't have a least favourite character, I still wanted to include this show though because I recommend it to anyone.

Arrested Development: I recently heard that this show is coming back sometime this year and I am so excited! It is my go-to sho in the evenings and when I don't know what to watch and it still makes me laugh the 20th time around. My favourite character of the show is Lucille Bluth, down to her cockiness, quick wit and her utter lack of care for anyone else but herself (which is in a way irritating, but also in a way an endearing for her character). My least favourite is easily Tobias, on occasion I found him funny, but mostly, it infuriates me thinking that someone could be so irrational, oblivious and gullible (and oh god imagine what he would be like in real life!).

The Good Place: I finished season 2 of this show, minutes before I started writing this post and I already cannot wait for season 3. I love the way this show looks at the possibilities of heaven, and hell, and the idea that there is some sort of a middle place specifically for you and you alone. My favourite in the show is definitely Micheal, his character grew so much and he became all around such a nicer, and a more likeable person in season 2. My least favourite is Tahani, she continues to be pretty damn selfish even whilst the others become better people, and I still find her as frustrating as I did at the start.

Riverdale: Jughead is my fave, let's be real for a second, he's super hot, he's got the bad boy thing going on, but he's smart too, why would I pick anyone else?! My least favourite is probably Archie, he sits and whines a lot about unimportant stuff and isn't as great of a friend as you think he'd be when all of his friends are going through rough times.

How I Met Your Mother: My favourite character is Lily, and if I could pick two it would be Lily and Marshall, apart from their weird breakup when Lily moved away, they are complete #couplegoals and they are the cutest. My least favourite may not be a popular opinion, but it is Robyn. I just do not like her.

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★★★★★

Gerald's Game
3096 Days

The Imitation Game

Dallas Buyers Club

To The Bone

Unbroken

Hacksaw Ridge

Jurassic World

The Hateful Eight

Moana

Logan

The Wedding Ringer

Fight Club

Her

Nymphomaniac Vol 1 & Vol 2
Bronson

★★★★

Love, Rosie

Shelter

The Taking of Deborah Logan

The Conjuring 2

The Night Before

The DUFF

Spy

The Judge
Spirited Away

Zootopia

True Story

Baywatch

The Fundamentals of Caring

Hurricane Bianca

Before I Fall

War Machine

Before I Wake

It Follows

Sinister 2

Me Before You

The Nice Guys

The Edge of Seventeen
A Christmas Prince

★★★

Viral

1922

Visions

Housebound

Insidious Chapter 3

The Legend of Barney Thompson

The Babysitter

Unfinished Business

Walk of Shame

The Diary of a Teenage Girl

The Boss

Little Evil

The Late Bloomer

Miss You Already

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

The Age of Adeline

You Get Me

The Belko Experiment

Nerve

Central Intelligence

Finding Dory

Hotel Transylvania 2

Mother's Day

Laggies

Fist Fight

Suicide Squad
Daddy's Home

Trainwreck

Deadpool

Operator

The Visit

Keeping up With the Joneses

Kidnap

★★

The Outcasts

The Magnificent Seven

One of Us

According to Greta

The First Time

Obsessed

Drive

Mr. Right

Lavender

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie

Don't Knock Twice

Sex ED

XX
ABCs of Death 2

Sing

The Right Kind of Wrong

Ask me Anything

Stranger Than Fiction

Creep

Why Him?
Ripped
Krampus

★

Emelie

#Horror

American Poltergeist

Dan in Real Life

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension

Carrie Pilby

Paper Towns

Below Her Mouth

La La Land

Movie 43

The Boss Baby

What movies in 2017 did you love? Any you hated? Got some suggestions of films for me to watch in 2018? Let me know in the comments

If you've stumbled across my blog for the first time you may not know this, but I love watching TV and films. So I wanted to share some of my favourites to help you get through the festive season. All of the films included are Christmas films but most of the TV shows are just things you can enjoy watching with your family around Christmas that are guaranteed to make your Grandma laugh! I also decided to include some YouTubers who are doing Vlogmas this year for extra measure.

Film

The Nightmare Before Christmas

How The Grinch Stole Christmas

Arthur Christmas

The Night Before

Love Actually

The Holiday

ELF

TV

Gavin & Stacey Christmas Special

The Snowman and the Snowdog

Blackadder's Christmas Carol

The Vicar of Dibley

Only Fools and Horses

Mrs Brown's Boys
The Royle Family

Miranda

YouTube

Wonderful U

The Roxetera

Kate LaVie

Zoella

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This was quite possibly the most difficult blog post I have written so far,  it has been super hard to cut this list down and also to not just include my own Christmas wishlist. So hopefully this post manages to not only cater to all ages (or at least all adult ages) and to give you some ideas of what to buy someone who isn't me. Some of the items are a little pricey but I was mostly working on the basis that they would be 'main gift' ideas.

01- The 100 Day Happiness Planner £20.00

02- Black Rose & Vanilla Spice Candle £12.00

03- Fig, Vanilla & Cacao Room Diffuser £28.00

04- Oral-B Smart Series Electric Toothbrush £64.99

05- Babyliss Ombre Hairdryer £29.95

06- Babyliss Ombre Straighteners* £59.99

07- Dogtooth Check Blanket Scarf** £10.00

08- GlamGlow Gravity Mud Peel-off Mask £33.60

09- Cupid's Arrow Heart Cuff Bracelet £29.00

10- Cath Kidson Foldover Clutch Bag £60.00

11- Olivia Burton Watch (Black Floral Design) £78.00

12- Personalised Embossed PU Leather Phone Case £18.00

13- Zoella Lifestyle Desktop Calendar £10.00

14- Portable Wireless Speaker £18.00

15- Stylpro Makeup Brush Cleaner Set £39.99

16- NYX Jet, Set, Travel Prep Kit £25.00

17- Faux Fur 'Eskimo' Dressing Gown £25.00

18- 'Sleep Set' Pillow Mist & Bath Oil £32.00

19- Soap & Glory Spa of Wonder £30.00

*When writing this post I was searching for the best place online to buy the hairdryer, and I saw that they did the same design in straighteners. I have had a set of Babyliss hair straighteners (pretty much these exact ones except all pink) since 2012 and they are still amazing so I couldn't leave these out.

**Dogtooth check is something that I am suddenly obsessed with this Winter. Also, blanket scarves? Genius!

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01- Juice Mini Speaker £6.00

02- 'How To' Read the Menu Booklets £8.50

03- Suguru Moldable Glue £6.99 (Strange I know but super useful)

04- Skull Sugar Spoon £4.00

05- 'Grip Strip' in-car Phone Grip Pad £6.99

06- Banksy Themed Playing Cards £5.99

07- Crep Protect Black Flat Laces £5.00

08- Fidget Cube £7.99

09- Marble Design Earphones £6.99

10- Wonka Double Dipped Nerds £2.00

11- Cactus Design Headphone Splitter £6.99

12- Lynx Mini Gift Set £2.75

13- Drinking Fudge £9.99 (an alternative to hot chocolate)

14- Pop Socket Phone Grip/Stand £9.99

15- Initial Letter Paperclips £2.95

16- Credit Card Sized Power Bank £8.99

17- Grow Your Own Cactus Kit £10.00

18- Hand Sanitizer £2.50 (again, another super useful yet unusual gift)

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